You know you're fucked when the job description section in your contract has nothing written in it. You could be the boss bitch for all they care. That’s what happened to me. Not that I'm complaining about it, I mean they pay me well, and this bitch is pretty satisfied. However, I get annoyed when ever some new fetish pops up. Or the need to satisfy a couple of persons (I'm taking this metaphor too far. For those who didn’t notice the metaphor I would like to say my asshole never seen the light so stop fantasizing about it).

Here's a new thing I have to deal with. The big boss wants me to shoot a documentary or and advertisement (it severs many purposes so its hard to be categorized) and here's the catch; they're not paying for it.  And apparently that’s not enough, they have conditions. It should be music free and female free. I don’t know how this thing would be appealing. I could work hard but at best we might end up with something that looks like " broke down humpin' "  with no music , so you can hear all the squashy sounds. GROSS.

I have only one thing to do. Pump in a lot of violence and action, which needs a lot of money. So, were back to square one.

You know some clients are so hard to satisfy.

  I got a really sloppy movie scripts to make. I better get to writing.  

Bye.

I met that psychiatrist again. We talked and talked , about the thing that matters the most  (me) . It turns out that psychiatrists, are more human than we think (Specially this one , a really really smart person). And for a reason talking to them reveals a lot. Both ways.

Picture this: you're on an operation table, your opened and all your guts showing. Then,  someone puts a mirror in front of you to let you see how you look from the inside. I don’t want to know your reaction , but it varies from one person to another. Now, the human psyche is more messy than his guts. Once you take a peak on what's inside that brains of yours you're done for. You can scream all you want but it wont make a difference. You're busted. All your fantasies about the neighbors grandmother uncovered. Ha.

Anyway, after the initial surprise I had, on how much the psychiatrist knows , I felt calm from the inside. Its like that feeling when you finish jerking off but without the shame ( the shame wears off gradually as you keep watching , heheheh ).

Final conclusion. Psychiatrist are humans (I'm not reliable source here) and have feelings. Just be careful when dealing with them. Who knows, you might end up with a Hannibal Lector.  

Yesterday, I met a psychiatrist online (or was that the day before , I cant really tell with my complete lack of sense-of -time ). Anyway ,  I talked with it  about various things. I'm using  it on purpose , they don’t have feelings so they're pretty much  it's.). That made me want to pay a visit to a shrink. I thought may be he could tune up these loose gears in my head.

However, when I thought it over. It accrued to me that I shouldn not go for one main reason. I strongly believe that what kind of crazy we have is what really defines us as unique individuals (I cant believe I said that , big words for me).  Take Charles Dickens for example, the guy had a real crappy childhood , working in coal factory.. After that he wrote Oliver Twist , and all his other twisted novels that I hated in college. And above all he had to live with that name DickEnds. Vincent Van Gogh was also a real nut case . And the list goes on. Check this out http://www.nami-wh.org/famous.htm . It ranges from bipolar depression ( I think its something like constipation of the brains ) to plain ol' crazy.

You know , if I stay crazy I could write a really good book " how to dismantle a republican in 10 minutes". Wow that book would sell. 

Oy , I got to give my shrink a call. Seriously