.O.K's profileIt's O.K.PhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
|
|
June 23 Can I be a protagonist?I don’t know about you guys. Some don’t believe in destiny. if you don’t, GO TO HELL . That’s for two reasons : 1) you went against God almighty 2) you went against me and I really like to see those who oppose me in hell , sorry about that , but I'd really like to see the look on my opponents' face when they go there. woooohoooo . yah Anyways , I have no doubts about destiny nor fate. My concern, however, is about coincidence. Some times its too much in away it makes you think you're a protagonist in your own life story . Well one of these things happened to me this last week. I had a blow (not a blowjob , I meant shock , you sick bastards) and was really disappointed in some people. You know it's too much, when someone you trust lies to you or treats you as an accessory. In many ways people hurt people and the best they can offer is the word "sorry" . (well that solves everything ! thank you very much ! we're all happy now !) like it's some story in a color book Anyway, I was about to do something stupid , just to relocate the pain , when I noticed my fax/answer machine red-button blinking. It was a voice message from two days before. I checked it and a voice from my past was on it. That person I know holds good intentions. In a dream that person had I was very sad and did things (and it's not a wet dream if you're wondering). You know I tried to shake that person away in the past few months. But something there that made that person keep on trying to contact me. When I look at it now , I feel ashamed of myself. Here's a person who's worried about me and I treated him bad. You don’t find people like that anymore. We talked about life , feelings and wisdom. It was not the first time I received these words from that person. But now I know how dept I had. for this time and in the past. It made me reconsider everything. To that person, in my point of view now , every other person losses a race of loyalty , honesty and true friendship. Thank you very much ol' friend. December 01 Dear MEDrear Diarrhea, That’s what you are , a whole pile of unorganized , shapeless , worthless shit. That would summarize my everyday detail. But hey , its better than ordinary shit. It’s a change. I go back to a question that I once asked, why write a diary , a blog , a memoir or any type of daily log ?? I answered that once , but yet there is more to it than just a worthless record . Despite , the uneasy feeling of being a 16 year old girl most likely to be a drama-queen, there are other meanings to it. I'm writing this entry to the future ME . So , if you're not me in the future , and you're still reading this , my best advice to you is to GET A LIFE. Anyways, lets go to the most important subject at hand ME .. Dear Future me , First and fore most , I'd like to say I accept you as you are; Whatever you became , or didn’t become; whether youre better or worse. whether you like what I'm doing now or carry a regret for it. Of course of all things I'm expecting you to do is hate me for what I'm doing or saying now , or the way I say it. May be you criticize the way of I wrote it or look down at it. That’s how I feel towards my past-me and I probably wont look up to you as I became a disappointment to my past-me. I never reached my own expectations and you wont be any better. But don’t worry man. I know how it is to be me , and I'm ok with you. I forgive you. You're a good guy. However, if you still look down at me after the nice things I said about you , you can SUCK MY BIG SALTY BALLS , you don't know how it is to be me. On second thought, you know exactly how it feels , your just denying. yah , I've been there silly fuck … ok ok .. truce Me now , my past-me , and my future-me . I got a solution to this dilemma, no one looks towards the other just forget about it .. no look the future , no looking to the past , just live the present. Finally, a word to the sponsor ( ME ) : GET REAL MAN! September 27 A Whole Pile of DisappointmentToday isn’t one of my best days. I learned that being good to people isn’t a guarantee of their respect or their kindness in return. Sure, it gives you a mild feeling of self satisfaction when you do the good deed. But if your looking for something else; well, let me say your hope is simply fucked. Apparently if you maintain a stable level of nice in your daily dealings with others , your supposed to keep it that way. Otherwise , you’re a scumbag, a cheap bastard or just plain asshole. You could be less of an asshole than the man next door , but today he didn’t kick someone in the balls , so he's " improving ". I've up and down the curve between asshole and nice guy. I sure do miss the bottom red line. Its fun and you don’t have to commit to anything. Plus , you get to be " improving " or " getting better " every now and then.
Oh , if any one of you "disappointments" , is reading this , yah , you suck! CC: my friends , my loved one and myself.
His own Truly, O.K. |
|
|
